Bernie woke up.
He heard the soft, regular sound of the bell. The date flashed on the screen: March 17th, 7:00 AM.
He jumped out of bed, feeling a slight knot in his stomach – his last day of work. Meanwhile, the gym logo wavered encouragingly on the screen. A box in the lower left corner contained the summary:
Bernard M. Scott – age 59, male.
Height 178 cm, weight 73 kg.
Burn 600 calories.
Bernie grabbed a towel and ran downstairs. When he returned after 45 minutes of swimming and working out at the gym, he felt very hungry. He glanced at the screen with some apprehension.
Morning portion: 450 calories – the screen announced.
- Not bad, - muttered Bernie, holding the cup under the spout. The cup filled with a yellowish mush.
It wasn't bad - he confirmed,rinsing the cup with water and drinking the last of the nutrient.
- What could that be? – he wondered – 524 or 628?
ANP – Automatic Nutrition Program was the project Bernie was most proud of.
He had spent the last five years programming and testing this colossal undertaking, which revolutionised human nutrition.
ANP monitored each subscriber's energy, mineral, and vitamin needs and delivered the correct mixture to the customer's kitchen tap.
After several months of laborious development, the project turned out to be a resounding success. This was undoubtedly due to the government's support, which implemented the system in the military and government institutions.
Soon, large corporations followed suit, and now virtually all people employed in larger institutions and living in retirement homes were connected to the system.
It was already 8:28 AM when Bernie finally connected to his official portal. A list of daily tasks appeared on the screen:
12:30 PM Finish work on task 132
2:30 PM Prepare final report
3:00 PM Bernie Scott's farewell ceremony (afternoon tea)
3:30 PM End of work.
They remember everything. - Bernie sighed with relief.
He looked at the list again. And what a generosity, almost a quarter of a day off. Well, I guess a man deserves some consideration after 35 years of work.
He read the text of task 132 carefully and immersed himself in testing some intricate function. The work went smoothly; he felt a pleasant, warm wave of effort and satisfaction flowing through his brain. Bernie liked this job and thought with some trepidation about his impending retirement.
- Other people get used to it, so I’ll get used to it too - he reassured himself.
Bernie remembered Frank.
That guy spent all his time after work in his well-kept garden. And since he retired two months ago, he’s been carousing all over the world. The last postcard Bernie received from Frank was from Peru.
- Two months ago, Frank wouldn't have been able to find Peru on a map - chuckled Bernie. - People really do change their lifestyles when they retire.
It was a fact that the government strongly encouraged people to maintain an active lifestyle after retirement. Those who transferred all their savings to the government pension fund, received a bonus of a three-month foreign vacation fully funded by the government.
- How does one feel when they don't use the Automatic Nutrition Program? - Bernie wondered. It must be very unhealthy and stomach-wrenching, eating in hotels and restaurants.
It was only 11:25 when Bernie finished his tasks for the day. He looked around in surprise. - So I'm already retired.
He began to browse folders and throw away some files. He paused at one of his ANP programs, which was activating a module that optimised the mixture for the next meal. He quickly entered his personal information, today's date, set the time to 8:00 a.m., and launched the program.
- Number 628 - it appeared on the screen.
- So I guessed correctly what was for breakfast—what will they give me for dinner? - He reset the time to 6:30 PM and pressed a button.
- Number 1371.
- 1371? - Bernie wondered - What could that be?
But there was no time for further thought, as the lunch announcement appeared on the screen.
- Lunch - 300 calories (reduced for afternoon snack).
- The bastards thought of everything - Bernie muttered, filling his mug with the thin mixture. He didn't even bother to guess what it might be.
He returned to work and was just finishing his final report when the terminal prompted him to switch to conference mode.
The screen was now divided into three sections.
Ken McCormick's ruddy face smiled at Bernie from the left, the center of the screen was blank and the right side was filled with a list of names of those present at the ceremony.
- Dear colleagues, - Ken began, and the center of the screen slowly began to fill with the text of his speech. Bernie placed the cursor on Greg's name and clicked the mouse button.
- How are you, Bernie? - Greg asked.
- What a bore.
- Don't be cynical, Bernie, we all value your work.
- Turning... - Bernie stopped mid-sentence, because Ken had just finished and was looking at him from the screen with an expectant expression.
Bernie hurriedly scrolled through the list of files and pressed a key. He listened in disbelief for a moment, not recognising his own voice, then relaxed as he recognised the lines of his farewell speech.
- Congratulations! Well done! Take care, Bernie! - Wishes floated across the screen, each in its own cloud-shaped balloon. A long list of signatures scrolled along the right margin.
Bernie requested a printout. At that moment, Neil's smiling face appeared on the screen.
- Hey Bernie, what are you going to do next?
- I don't really know yet, but I'm going to take a long break first.
- Another traveler, eh? Do you remember Patrick? I just got a postcard from him from Spain.
- By the way, Neil - interrupted Bernie - do you know what a 1371 mix is?
- I have no idea, but all those numbers above a thousand are a special government program. Why do you ask?
- Nothing, I was just checking what's for dinner tonight.
- Right, Bernie, you're retired, on a government allowance. Let me tell you something, this allowance is very economical. Very much so."
- Break over - the screen flashed. Bernie returned to work mode and soon ended the session.
- I'm free - he said, looking around.
The suitcase was already packed and everything was ready for the trip. There was nothing left to do.
He switched the terminal to leisure mode. Sports, some quizzes, a children's program. Perfect for children and pensioners, he thought, stretching out on the couch.
When he woke up, the room was already dark.
- So I took a nap. - he muttered in surprise.
- I'm a pensioner," he declared. Oh, I was going to ask Neil about that government allowance - Bernie remembered, and typed Neil's name on the keyboard.
- Terminal busy, leave a message - the computer replied.
Bernie canceled the call and glanced at his watch. It was after seven, and he was feeling hungry.
- I must have slept through the lunch announcement. - he thought. Well, let's try this government mess. - - Number 1371, get out! - Bernie commanded, entering a meal order into the terminal.
- Bernard M. Scott – age 60, male
- Height 178 cm, weight 73 kg.
Bernie waited a moment for the meal's energy value to display, but nothing else appeared on the screen. He held the cup under the faucet and watched as the brownish substance filled the vessel.
- It smells good, - he noted, - and it tastes not bad, - he added after the first gulp.
He took a long sip and sat down on the couch.
- It's not bad, - he repeated.
And then he felt a hot wave gather in his stomach, grow, rise to his throat, to his brain…
- Number 1371, - Bernie whispered with effort and collapsed onto the couch. His glassy eyes stared blankly at the screen, which displayed the instructions:
ANP – summary: effectiveness =100%
Tasks:
– remove body
– disinfect room
– transfer all personal items to storage
– send postcards from Route 17 to mailing list 378.
The End
P.S. Above story was published in a Computeing magazine in October 1988 and was a monthly winner of a competition for a story involving some computer technology.
At the end of the year a yearly winner was announced.
It was a story about using computers in the court. To test the system, police fabricated some bank fraud. Then all the evidence was fed into a computer and it was supposed to make the judgement.
In the next number of Computing I read that they invited the winner to the office to hand over to him the prize... but he could not come, he was in the prison serving a sentence for a... bank fraud.
Portrait of Poland by Bernard Newman
